Separations--whether daily or occasional--can be hard on you as well as your child. But helping her adapt to these comings and goings can actually support your baby's social and emotional development.
Good-byes through your baby's eyes:Some days, I cry when you leave. I might also cry or ignore you when you come back. That doesn't mean I've been miserable the whole time you were away. It just means that when I see you, it reminds me that you've been gone, and I need and love you so much that I get overwhelmed and have to cry. I know I'm safe to share my deepest feelings with you, and that's why I can show you when I'm sad. When you need to leave me, it helps if you spend some time with me and my caregiver. When you smile and talk with her, I feel safe because I'm staying with someone you like. When I'm bigger, let me take a picture of you or something else that's special from home. And please, don't ever just sneak out on me, even if it seems like it will be easier. It only makes me fearful that at any moment you might disappear without warning. Saying good-bye to me makes me trust you more. Over time, I will learn that whenever you leave, you come back.
What your baby is learning from hellos and good-byes: When you show respect for your baby's feelings--by letting her know you are leaving and helping her cope with your separations--she begins to recognize and handle her own feelings. When you establish predictable routines, you build her security and trust. She learns what to expect and feels in control of her world. As she learns to handle separations, she develops trusting relationships with other nurturing adults, learning that others can take good care of her, too. Her social and emotional skills may get a boost if she is being cared for alongside other children.
What you can do:
Understand how your child best copes with separations. Does it help for you to spend some time playing with her in the center before you leave, or does she adjust better if you say a quick good-bye?
As she grows, tell her what to expect, "You'll have circle time, then have snack, play outside on the playground and then Mommy comes back!" Because she doesn't yet understand real time, this gives her a sense of when things will happen and in what order.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Grocery Shopping
Most parents dread taking their baby to the store. But when you see it through babies' eyes, there are endless possibilities for exploration.
If your baby could talk: Wow! Look at all these colorful objects and interesting people; listen to the sounds, smell the smells! If I seem cranky in here it's because I'm a little overwhelmed by everything around me. When you hold me close and tell me what's going on, it helps. I learn the world can be a safe and interesting place to explore. As I get bigger, I'll want to help you out, by pushing the cart, carrying paper towels, and lots of other stuff. Giving me jobs I can handle builds my confidence, keeps me out of trouble, and makes it easier for me to wait. When I recognize a box of our favorite crackers or the white and blue milk carton like the one we have at home, I am developing skills that will one day help me read. I also learn about shapes, colors, matching and numbers when you ask me to put two round oranges in the bag. For me, this is math and science. The grocery store is a world of wonder for me!
What your baby is learning:If your child is easily overwhelmed, make your shopping trips short. When you respect your child's feelings, over time he will learn to adapt. You will also be teaching him empathy for others. When you engage him by talking about what he is seeing and hearing, you are helping him develop language skills. When you give him appropriate "jobs" to divert him from pulling all the boxes off the shelf, he'll see himself as an important helper and begin to learn self-control. Stores offer a rich environment, with countless opportunities to learn new ways about how the world works.
What you can do:
Let your child take something small from home with him to the store, perhaps his lovey or a toy. These objects can make him feel safe and can also give him a playful diversion.
Provide lots of opportunities for him to get involved. Ask him to point to a familiar product on a nearby shelf. Hand him soft, unbreakable items and ask him to place them in the cart. Kids love to be helpful
If your baby could talk: Wow! Look at all these colorful objects and interesting people; listen to the sounds, smell the smells! If I seem cranky in here it's because I'm a little overwhelmed by everything around me. When you hold me close and tell me what's going on, it helps. I learn the world can be a safe and interesting place to explore. As I get bigger, I'll want to help you out, by pushing the cart, carrying paper towels, and lots of other stuff. Giving me jobs I can handle builds my confidence, keeps me out of trouble, and makes it easier for me to wait. When I recognize a box of our favorite crackers or the white and blue milk carton like the one we have at home, I am developing skills that will one day help me read. I also learn about shapes, colors, matching and numbers when you ask me to put two round oranges in the bag. For me, this is math and science. The grocery store is a world of wonder for me!
What your baby is learning:If your child is easily overwhelmed, make your shopping trips short. When you respect your child's feelings, over time he will learn to adapt. You will also be teaching him empathy for others. When you engage him by talking about what he is seeing and hearing, you are helping him develop language skills. When you give him appropriate "jobs" to divert him from pulling all the boxes off the shelf, he'll see himself as an important helper and begin to learn self-control. Stores offer a rich environment, with countless opportunities to learn new ways about how the world works.
What you can do:
Let your child take something small from home with him to the store, perhaps his lovey or a toy. These objects can make him feel safe and can also give him a playful diversion.
Provide lots of opportunities for him to get involved. Ask him to point to a familiar product on a nearby shelf. Hand him soft, unbreakable items and ask him to place them in the cart. Kids love to be helpful
Reading Ur Baby's Cues
What follows is a chart that describes what babies are learning at this stage and what you can do to support the development of these new skills. As you go through the chart, it's important to remember that every baby is an individual person, and grows and develops in her own way, at her own pace. Building a strong and close relationship with you is the foundation of her learning and her healthy growth and development. Any concern about your baby's behavior or development deserves attention. Always discuss your concerns with your child's pediatrician or other trusted professional.
Saying Goodnight
While some 6-month-olds may snuggle happily into their cribs at bedtime and drift off, many are inclined to put up a good fight...no matter how tired they are. How can we avoid a daily struggle when we, ourselves, are just as tired as our babies?
If your baby could talk:Want to know why I cry and fuss so much when you put me to bed? Well, why in the world would I want to leave your nice warm arms to lie alone in my crib? All I know is that I'm happy when I'm with you, and bed time means an end to all of that. How can you help? Well, if we do lots of nice things that lead up to bed time, it will help me feel relaxed. A bath, a dimly lit room, a book, a gentle song and a rub on the back. I like that. And make sure to give me something to hold on to when I can't hold on to you . . . my teddy or comfy blanket are good. Okay, I still might cry a little, but I think I'm ready. I can't promise anything, though, about tomorrow.
What your
If your baby could talk:Want to know why I cry and fuss so much when you put me to bed? Well, why in the world would I want to leave your nice warm arms to lie alone in my crib? All I know is that I'm happy when I'm with you, and bed time means an end to all of that. How can you help? Well, if we do lots of nice things that lead up to bed time, it will help me feel relaxed. A bath, a dimly lit room, a book, a gentle song and a rub on the back. I like that. And make sure to give me something to hold on to when I can't hold on to you . . . my teddy or comfy blanket are good. Okay, I still might cry a little, but I think I'm ready. I can't promise anything, though, about tomorrow.
What your
What It's like 4 U?
Six-month-olds are motivated, energetic, busy, opinionated and, for the most part, fabulous! They are on the verge of huge developmental strides - intellectual, emotional and physical - and they have many, many things they want to do. The challenge - for them and for you - is that they can't yet do everything they have in mind. Their fingers aren't working well enough for them to make objects do what they want. They don't yet have the balance or coordination to stand up and walk, let alone crawl. They've got so much to say, yet they don't have the words. But they experience every imaginable feeling, sometimes all at once.
Although there is great variation in development at this age, during the next 3 months many of the skills babies are eager to master will, in fact, kick in. Until then, they are likely to get frustrated often; and you will most likely bear the brunt of that frustration. Somehow, you need to walk the line between doing things for your 6-month-old that she can't do yet, and finding a way to help her do things for herself. If, for example, she wants to crawl toward a toy but finds herself moving backward instead of forward, you can sit behind her and place your palms against the soles of her feet. Then she might be able to push herself forward and get it for herself. Of course, there's always the possibility that she'll be mad if you do that, because what she really wants is to do it on her own. But hang in there - if you're patient, she'll learn patience and persistence, too
Although there is great variation in development at this age, during the next 3 months many of the skills babies are eager to master will, in fact, kick in. Until then, they are likely to get frustrated often; and you will most likely bear the brunt of that frustration. Somehow, you need to walk the line between doing things for your 6-month-old that she can't do yet, and finding a way to help her do things for herself. If, for example, she wants to crawl toward a toy but finds herself moving backward instead of forward, you can sit behind her and place your palms against the soles of her feet. Then she might be able to push herself forward and get it for herself. Of course, there's always the possibility that she'll be mad if you do that, because what she really wants is to do it on her own. But hang in there - if you're patient, she'll learn patience and persistence, too
Feeding
When you feed your baby you are doing a lot more than providing the nutrition to support her physical growth. You are also nurturing her social, emotional and intellectual growth.
If your baby could talk:When I let you know I'm hungry and you come with food, that tells me that you understand my needs and will respond to them. I'm still not too good at waiting so I'll probably fuss. I love being cuddled while I eat. But I also love to explore - find out what's going on around me. So I may pull away to see who else is around, or to find out where all the noise is coming from. I'll also want to grab your fingers and your clothing, or just look up at you with an ear-to-ear smile. When I coo at you, coo back. When it's your turn to eat, it's really interesting to watch. I'll be eating solids soon and will want to feed myself, so let me play with a spoon. Later, when I'm big enough, give me little bits of soft food that I can pick up by myself. For right now, just give me an interesting rattle to chew on. Mealtime is more than just food; it's time to take it all in and to explore and feel close to you.
What your baby is learning:Responding when your baby "tells" you she's hungry teaches her that you will always be there for her. She knows she is important and deserves to be well cared for. Her trust in you allows her to focus her energy on exploration. Each time you respond to your baby's coos and babbles you are telling her that she's a good communicator, that she's deserving of your attention, and that she can make things happen by making sounds. While it can be messy, letting your baby explore her food helps her eventually learn to feed herself. This builds her confidence that she can take care of herself and prepares her to take on new challenges.
What you can do:
Talk with her while you are preparing her food, whether you are getting ready to breastfeed, fixing a bottle or getting her solids ready. This helps her learn words and can also help her wait.
Make it a point to touch and stroke your baby whenever you can. This kind of physical connection is important for her emotional growth.
If your baby could talk:When I let you know I'm hungry and you come with food, that tells me that you understand my needs and will respond to them. I'm still not too good at waiting so I'll probably fuss. I love being cuddled while I eat. But I also love to explore - find out what's going on around me. So I may pull away to see who else is around, or to find out where all the noise is coming from. I'll also want to grab your fingers and your clothing, or just look up at you with an ear-to-ear smile. When I coo at you, coo back. When it's your turn to eat, it's really interesting to watch. I'll be eating solids soon and will want to feed myself, so let me play with a spoon. Later, when I'm big enough, give me little bits of soft food that I can pick up by myself. For right now, just give me an interesting rattle to chew on. Mealtime is more than just food; it's time to take it all in and to explore and feel close to you.
What your baby is learning:Responding when your baby "tells" you she's hungry teaches her that you will always be there for her. She knows she is important and deserves to be well cared for. Her trust in you allows her to focus her energy on exploration. Each time you respond to your baby's coos and babbles you are telling her that she's a good communicator, that she's deserving of your attention, and that she can make things happen by making sounds. While it can be messy, letting your baby explore her food helps her eventually learn to feed herself. This builds her confidence that she can take care of herself and prepares her to take on new challenges.
What you can do:
Talk with her while you are preparing her food, whether you are getting ready to breastfeed, fixing a bottle or getting her solids ready. This helps her learn words and can also help her wait.
Make it a point to touch and stroke your baby whenever you can. This kind of physical connection is important for her emotional growth.
Playing Together
The magical thing about play is that it's not only fun, it's how children learn. Through play they discover how the world works, how to make things happen, and how good it feels to interact with others.
If your baby could talk:
There's no one I'd rather play with than you! I like you better than any of my toys. That's why I beam at you, and squeal with delight when I see you come near! I can already show you when I like something and "tell" you with my expressions and gestures, "Peek-a-boo . . . one more time please!" When I shake a rattle and it makes a noise, I learn that I can make things happen. I love to get my hands on things and use my mouth to explore them. When you hold toys for me and cheer me on as I reach out and grasp something, I'm thrilled, because I'm learning that I can make my body work to get what I want. You're a great partner.
What your baby is learning:
When you play with your baby, you're letting him know that he's fun to be with and that he's important. This builds his self-esteem. And the joy of having fun with you helps him develop positive relationships as he grows.
You are your baby's first and most important teacher. You help him become the master of his world. Offering him objects with different appearances, sounds and textures will help him learn many important skills and concepts. When your baby uses his facial expressions and gestures to entice you to play peek-a-boo, for example, he is learning about cause and effect and boosting his confidence that he can make things happen. The same goes for shaking a rattle: "I move my arm, this toy makes a noise. Mmmm, let's try that again!" As you share the pleasure of play, your baby's curiosity and interest in taking on new challenges will grow.
What you can do:
Coach your baby as he works to master a skill such as reaching for a toy. Bring an object closer until he can get it on his own. Doing it himself builds his self-confidence.
Play lots of back-and-forth games. For example, bat the toy he just swung at. These interactions form the foundation of later communication skills and are his first lessons about taking turns.
If your baby could talk:
There's no one I'd rather play with than you! I like you better than any of my toys. That's why I beam at you, and squeal with delight when I see you come near! I can already show you when I like something and "tell" you with my expressions and gestures, "Peek-a-boo . . . one more time please!" When I shake a rattle and it makes a noise, I learn that I can make things happen. I love to get my hands on things and use my mouth to explore them. When you hold toys for me and cheer me on as I reach out and grasp something, I'm thrilled, because I'm learning that I can make my body work to get what I want. You're a great partner.
What your baby is learning:
When you play with your baby, you're letting him know that he's fun to be with and that he's important. This builds his self-esteem. And the joy of having fun with you helps him develop positive relationships as he grows.
You are your baby's first and most important teacher. You help him become the master of his world. Offering him objects with different appearances, sounds and textures will help him learn many important skills and concepts. When your baby uses his facial expressions and gestures to entice you to play peek-a-boo, for example, he is learning about cause and effect and boosting his confidence that he can make things happen. The same goes for shaking a rattle: "I move my arm, this toy makes a noise. Mmmm, let's try that again!" As you share the pleasure of play, your baby's curiosity and interest in taking on new challenges will grow.
What you can do:
Coach your baby as he works to master a skill such as reaching for a toy. Bring an object closer until he can get it on his own. Doing it himself builds his self-confidence.
Play lots of back-and-forth games. For example, bat the toy he just swung at. These interactions form the foundation of later communication skills and are his first lessons about taking turns.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
